Polyamory, sometimes confused with polygamy, is simply a relationship setting in which people are open to have multiple partners. What makes it different from open relationships is that unlike open relationships, in polyamory there is love and emotions involved with all the partners. This means it is safe to say that polyamory is not just about sex.
Although, just like monogamy, polyamory is very normal, people are not much accepting of these relationships. Mostly because they are fed the classic, fairytale version of monogamous love since forever but also because they have certain opinions and beliefs regarding polyamory which aren’t true but who is going to tell them?
Here are a few very common myths about polyamory that majority people believe. And trust me when I say this, these myths are so common that sometimes even polyamorous people end up questioning themselves, after all, myths can stir a sense of doubt, can’t they?
Polyamory Is Not Different From Cheating
Ask a monogamous individual why they criticize polyamory and they’ll laugh and conclude how it is equivalent to cheating. The discussion won’t end there. Don’t feel disgusted if this monogamous individual end up telling you how they would also love to be polyamorous because after all who doesn’t like freedom and sex. They don’t see a problem in their statement at all. I have seen so many married men joking about polyamory and cheating like this.
Anyways, coming back to the statement. No, polyamory is not the same as cheating. In a polyamorous relationship the partners are aware of other partners involved which is not the case in cheating.
It Is Not Good for Women
Just like I mentioned in the point above how men joke about polyamory and cheating, ask them what their opinion is about their partner being a polyamorous as well. Not limited to men, people irrespective of their gender and age can enlist reasons why polyamory is not good for women. “Because after all men can sleep with anyone and everyone and just get away with it, but women will be judged.” Sure, true, but that does not mean polyamory is not good for women, it is society and the patriarchy that does wrong, even worse, to women. Even if a woman is not in a polyamorous relationship, she is exposed to similar, if not worse consequences.
Polyamory at least gives women the right to choose multiple partners, have a non monogamous relationship and have partners irrespective of their gender. They have their rights and freedom and they aren’t exploited as they normally are in monogamy and polygyny.
Polyamory Means No Commitment
Having multiple partners does not mean people are just in the dating phase or haven’t found “the one” like a lot of people believe. Polyamory is about committing to multiple partners, of course there is commitment. Everything is as real as the monogamous relationship, just there are more than one partners. Love, emotions, affection, fights, commitments, everything is exactly how it works in any other relationship setting.
It Is Just a Phase
Polyamory is often confused with the phase where someone is heartbroken or not ready to commit and hence wants to have a few flings here and there. That is a phase, yes, but polyamory is not similar to that phase. Neither is it similar to the phase where people want just sex and no relationships whatsoever. Polyamory is as real as any relationship, a relationship where people meet, know each other, fall in love, and then commit to stay together.
Polyamory is as normal as any other relationship setting and the criticism against it is very unacceptable especially when it starts hurting someone’s feelings. Just because you have always fantasized a perfect monogamous relationship with your prince charming does not mean people are bound to live in the same setting. It’s time we stand up and choose to stop judging people because of their choices and preferences.
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